It has been a Loooong day!

So, sometimes you log on to blog and get sidetracked. I was logging on to write about my day and my excuses for not running. Instead of doing that, I got curious about the people who have commented on my blog. So, now I am sitting here crying like a little baby, which was really probably what I needed to do instead of blog anyway. So, here goes my story, which now seems so stupid! And by the way, I warned you that this post would be more than just running!

First, I am just a little stressed about work lately. I am a fundraiser. I raise money, items, and awareness for kids with mental illness. Because the kids we work with are so "troubled", many people at my workplace appear to me to be burnt out. They do not appear to expect much from the kids. It really seems like there is not a lot of hope for the kids we serve. Okay, let's assume for a moment that I accept that as reality. This would mean that I would go out and speak with someone who has significant resources. Then, I would explain how they should give us resources to "help the kids" that have no hope. Hmmm, this is really troubling me and bothering me. I am not sure if this is really making any sense to someone who might be reading this, but the just is that I am conflicted at work.

Moving on to problem number two of the day, my ex-husband's girlfriend took my daughter to the doctor today. My daughter is 5. I was available to take her. Does anyone else seem to have a problem with this? Yes, she has a rash. Yes, she probably should go to the doctor. Yes, my ex-husband called to make the appointment. BUT, I think kids should go to the doctor with a real live parent!! I would never dream of asking a babysitter to take my child to the doctor! Of course, the doctor's office calls me and asks me to authorize medical treatment and I said No. Yep, I am probably creating a lot of unnecessary drama, but I just do not feel it is right. So, I ask the office if she can be seen in an hour when I can bring her. I proceed to miss a meeting and drive to pick her up. The girlfriend and my daughter are no where to be found. I am hoping this one is not making sense. Morale of the story here is that I have refused to authorize medical treatment because I thought I could take her in an hour and now she is gone. So, my daughter proably has a rash and probably wonders why mom would not let her see the doctor when she was sitting there waiting to see one!

So, I am conflicted at work, and my daughter has a rash. Um, yeah, then I log on and read about the September 11, 2001 events and wonder why I create so much freaking unnecessary drama in my life. I wonder why I always think things should be better and I want more and on and on and on. I have two BEYOND BEAUTIFUL children. I am able to run. I have a job that is flexible, allows me to lead a comfortable life, and attempt to make a difference in the world. I am educated, intelligent, and capable of so much. I am thankful that my life is exactly what it is.

The original title was "today's reality is the result of yesterday's decisions". I wonder what it would have been without the reality checks I had. I wonder what decisions I will make today that will effect tomorrow's reality! =)

Every weekday I participate in a Powercall. It allows me to set up my day. I talk about what I will do for each of my three bigger goals. I also create the possibility of what I want to be. Today, I was in the moment. I think I will be in the moment for several more days and get a little more present to what I really have in each moment.